As I spoke freely on the job site today, feeling some sort of deep comradeship with my fellow electrician , I said "I love putting my finger in my belly button." Que? Have you ever said something that you know is true but sounds absurd to say it out loud. I am going to say that this statement fits neatly into this category. Other statements of the like would be "Dallas Sucks" or "Hillary Clinton has a point" or "Target makes me feel close to God" .
Joe, who I said this to, claimed that I had a naval fetish. That cannot be the case because fetish implies a sexual arrossal of which there is none in this case. Well, turns out there is a third use of fetish which is "an irrational, or abnormal, fixation or preoccupation". If that is the case than 1/3 of my life is a fetish including my crappy fantasy football team, my calves, and this Blog.
So I have a naval fetish. I'm okay with that but two things have changed in naval town. When I had my appendix taken out one of the three places they put the probes in was through my belly button. I have a scar inside of my naval cavity and the whole mojo of the b.b. has never been the same. What has also changed is all my weight loss. I'm 5 short of 50 and I estimate I have lost 1 3/16" of depth in my b.b. The scar and the shallow hallow that is my naval cavity have made it a struggle to enjoy my once enjoyed past activity. This simply must be a passing of an old era and entering a new chapter in my life where the centrality of the b.b. belongs in the a.d.
I have no more word plays and your nausea( or maybe our nausea) has probably set into the point where your vision and comprehension are blurred past understanding.
I surrender in this Naval Battle.
6 comments:
There's no absurdity whatsoever in claiming the truth in that one really can feel close to God in Target. :) Congrats on the weight loss!
I know my audience well enough to know that Target is a blessing and an idol.
I was totally unprepared for this, having no clear idea of how I ended up here. I am, however, pleased to have found a means of efficiently wasting my time.
I'm not sure what the opposite of a naval fetish might be. Not quite a phobia, but a strong disliking mixed with a liberal amount of disgust. A naval anti-fetish, if you will. I have one of those. I implore you to please stop putting your finger in it. No good can come of this behaviour.
Target, unfortunately, is my walking ground. It's where I go to walk, think and of course - shop for items I really don't need. :)
Just stopping by to say hi. I visit often, but rarely have replied. Matter of fact - never have replied because you don't allow just anyone to comment - have to have a google acct. Discriminating? Well - I forgot I have one so here I am...M and I were speaking of you the other day, so here I am, wasting your time - letting you know we were thinking of you.
I have to say, you stumped me with a fetish being an arousal sexual word. I never thought of it that way. I love feet. I have a foot fetish, but not sure if I'm arousaled by feet - surely not my dear husbands big, hairy feet :)
on the bb note - I have an upside down b.b. - tiss true - I'll let you check it out sometime :)
what the heck..oh my - the google acct is for an old WKU blog I had so my name doesn't even show up..that's lame. It's shannon from nashville..
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